The older I get, the more I love networking events! The people, the fun little social games, the free food. It can be a great time if you go in with the right mindset.
Unfortunately, this is not the case for most people I talk to. Many find networking events to be uncomfortable or downright scary. But why is that? And how can we reshape these popular events to benefit instead of inconveniencing us?
Read this post to learn the top 3 reasons why most people avoid these events, and how you can make the most of them.
Table of Contents
Why Some Find It Scary
This is a loaded topic because there are many valid reasons why some may avoid business networking events. Everyone’s different, and so are their gripes against networking! Still, there are some reoccurring themes in the complaints that I’ve been hearing.
Here are the top 3 reasons why I think people are avoiding this career goldmine.
1. They Hate the “Sales-y” Feeling
Let me set the scene for you:
There you are, a wallflower minding your own business. You knew it was time to get out there and engage with the other attendees, but you didn’t know how. All of a sudden, someone approaches and strikes up a conversation with you.
Great timing!
You both share what you do and how you got started. Unfortunately, barely several minutes into the discussion, you can feel your partner disengaging from the conversation.
Does this sound familiar? I wrote this brief scene from a recent experience of mine, and let me tell you: it was just as uncomfortable as you’re probably imagining it!
So what happened here? Well, one big reason why some people hate networking events is that you may have to deal with people like this. They show up with a clear agenda, only caring about the other person they’re talking to if they feel like they can get something from them.
Usually, their agenda is to either convert you into a potential lead or customer or to connect with someone who holds a lot of sway and influence in their company.
The important thing to keep in mind here is that not everyone is going to match your energy. And that’s okay. There are plenty of others at the event who are more than content with making real connections and sharing their passions with the world.
I also don’t want to demonize those who are networking to progress themselves. Some people just need to pay the bills, and that’s honestly relatable. Once you realize that your intentions aren’t aligning, kindly part ways and find someone else to talk to.
2. Introversion
Raise your hand if you feel more comfortable at home! I know I do.
As an introvert, I have a lot of other introverts within my social circles. This wasn’t intentional: like just recognizes like. It’s easier this way because we get each other and hanging out with my friends is never a huge drain on my energies.
As awesome as introverts are, this socialization type can be inconvenient. We live in an extroverted world where people are meeting up with complete strangers for dates and dancing on TikTok to pay the bills.
Introversion is a valid reason to avoid or be afraid of networking events. One valuable tactic to use is to travel to the event yourself. This allows you to leave whenever you feel your energy waning, or in-depth conversation starts to push you a bit too far outside your comfort zone.
You can also carpool with someone just as introverted as you. One look across the room, and you both can be out of there in no time.
3. Fear of the Unknown
Lastly, a lot of people avoid these events because they don’t know what to expect. Maybe they’ve never been to this venue before, or the dress code on the invite was extremely vague.
(Note: When in doubt, be on the more business side of “business casual”. And if they say it’s a casual event, they mean “business casual”…which basically means business. Fool me once…)
I struggle with this a lot and it’s only been recently that I’ve developed the tools and strategies to overcome this feeling.
When in doubt, ask! Call the organizers or talk to someone who’s been before. Ask them all your burning questions and remove some of the mystery around this event.
The less anxiety you have going into it, the better conversations you’ll have with others. You may even enjoy yourself rather than just feeling relieved at the end of the night!
How to Find (Free) Networking Events
My absolute favorite, and cheap, way to find networking events near me is through Eventbrite. Eventbrite is a free app (compatible with both Apple and Android phones) that helps bring people together, much like Meetup. And since we mentioned it, you can of course download Meetup (another free app).
If you’re running out of space on your phone, you can also just search for “free networking events (insert your city)” on Google, Instagram, or TikTok!
Are Networking Events Worth It?
Now, the big question before you gather up the courage to go: are networking events even worth it? The answer is…it depends. Here are some deciding factors to help you determine if this is the right thing for you and your career:
- Are you looking to make career-aligned friends?
- Are you planning a career pivot? Or have you recently pivoted?
- Do you hold a job that aligns with your passions and wishes for the future?
- Do you need to improve your communication and socializing skills?
These are all questions that can help you do a little self-assessment! At the end of the day, networking is a great way to strengthen your socializing skills, connect with other like-minded people, and progress yourself further in your career.
You’re going to have to be honest with yourself here. If you hate your current industry or field, excessive amounts of networking is probably going to be a waste of time! Answer those 4 questions to get a good gauge of whether this should be a priority for you.
Strategies for Organic Networking
If you’ve read this far and think you want to pursue networking events to connect with others, congrats! Here are some strategies for doing it organically. (NOTE: By organically, I mean with minimal effort or resistance to the process. Networking should be as effortless as making friends!)
1. Be Authentically You
As simple as it may sound, many people feel resistance to this idea. If you’re used to putting on a mask or hiding parts of yourself for fear of judgment, you may find that networking will feel…kind of fake.
Make sure to show up as your full and awesome self! Don’t fake being interested in topics you don’t like, or pretend to know everything. Ask questions, actively listen, and kindly excuse yourself if it isn’t feeling right.
Another aspect of being authentically you is to talk about things other than work. Business people are still people. Ask them fun questions like, “What are you watching on Netflix these days?” or “Do you have any podcast recommendations?” Networking events do not need to be some weird ego flex.
By being your authentic self, you make it easier for others to test their compatibility with you. What’s the point of making a connection only to find out a few weeks later that it isn’t a good fit? This advice is critical to any type of social engagement, whether it’s networking or dating.
2. Find Your People
Make sure that you’re going to events that match your interests and passions! This is the key to having a guaranteed great time at a networking event. By doing this, you can count on most of the people being somewhat compatible with you.
Attending an event that matches your passions will also allow you to hold smoother conversations. Without having to study beforehand, you’ll already know all the fancy jargon and acronyms, your key talking points, and even some related topics that you’d like to learn more about (ahem, this is where the other people at the event come in!).
Bye-bye, anxiety!
So, how do you find “your people”? This may look like going to an event for “young professionals”, or “women/men in [insert your industry]”. The possibilities are as endless as Google (that’s potentially billions of search results)!
Also, ask yourself: where are my people hanging out? Where do you and your friends mostly hang out? Perhaps you are looking for networking events hosted in a certain area or type of venue (super casual, shared working spaces, or large conferences).
By doing a little bit of strategic work upfront, you decrease the amount of work you’ll have to do when you get there. So, pick events that match your passions!
3. Lower the Stakes
To make networking events less scary, we have to remove the fear from the situation. In my experience, a large part of anxiety boils down to mentally making situations bigger than they are. If we want to combat this feeling, we need to lower the stakes for ourselves.
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to “convert” someone while you’re there. You don’t need to work the whole room or show up in the freshest business fashions of the season.
Also, you do not need to make promises that you won’t keep! (For example, “I’ll see you at the next one!” or “Let’s meet for coffee later.”) This event can be as stressful or as lowkey as you make it.
When I go to a networking event, my only goal is to talk to 1 person about a shared interest. That’s it. As you can probably imagine, I usually complete this mission within the first 30 minutes of any event. No matter what happens after, I’m always able to go home feeling accomplished.
So lower the stakes for yourself, and you just might find yourself having a good time.
Final Thoughts
Overall, just like any other social gathering, a networking event really is what you make it. Having the right mindset will definitely make things easier for you. But if you’re struggling to reset that mindset button, you can also try those 3 tricks listed above to recenter yourself. By doing this, a networking event will probably feel a little less like torture.
Have you been going to networking events lately? Tell me if any of these anxieties resonated with you in the comments down below! As always, subscribe to the newsletter to be notified whenever there’s a new post. I send writing, marketing, and mindset tips to your inbox every Wednesday morning!
Good luck!
